A NOT SO GOOD SATURDAY
I was home alone today. Shane was in a class all day learning about Fire
Investigations, Em had a choir festival at BSU today, and then she and a friend went to the movies, and Phillip had to work. I was kind of grateful for the peace and quiet as I had a KILLER MIGRAINE. So I did nothing but relax and try go get rid of it. Unfortunately not feeling good, being tired after our trip to Pocatello and back, and watching a movie that deals with the death of a loved one, I was kind of in a deep blue funk.
Losing a friend is tough, I have lost several of them the last few years since moving to Boise, but losing Todd well that has been kind of different. He really didn't like life, his life in particular. He felt as though he had been dealt all of the bad cards that could possibly be dealt. He hated the Thanksgiving and Christmas season because that was the time of year that his mother had passed and his daughter had gotten married, besides the fact that he felt as though his kids had forgotten that he even existed most of the time, especially at Christmas time.
I really couldn't be upset at learning of his death, because he didn't like life. He is where he should be. Betty Jean, his mom is with him. and he is free of his earthly problems. My tears have been few because I know that he is happy where he is.
How to describe how I feel. Yes upset, some, sad at the void that is left knowing that I won't see him until after the time that I pass on. Hurt that there was no way of knowing and that I have no idea where he is buried.
Grateful for the friendship, and rejoicing that he is in a better place. Grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that there is more after this life and that I will see my son and others that have gone before like Todd.
Mom W was here 11/14/2004 11:30:00 PM
